You’ve just finished crafting a massive copy package for a client. Two landing pages, corresponding drip campaigns with three emails each, and a few other items.
It’s polished, professional, and ready to impress. You confidently share the Google Doc link and wait for feedback. Less than a minute later, you see that your eager client has accessed the document—and Google has assigned them a less than appealing moniker: Anonymous Skunk.
From a list of more than 70+ possible creatures Google could have assigned to your distinguished client—majestic lions, wise owls, graceful dolphins—your beloved client landed the one animal universally associated with general unpleasantness.
When Animals Attack (Your Professional Reputation)
Google’s anonymous animal feature launched in 2012 with the noble goal of making collaboration more “human-friendly.” The engineering team, clearly having too much fun in their brainstorming session, decided that randomly assigned animal avatars would be more engaging than boring number sequences like “Anonymous09171981.”
And to their credit, they were right. Watching “Anonymous Penguin” and “Anonymous Unicorn” edit your document simultaneously must be genuinely delightful. The problem arises when someone in your professional sphere—perhaps the CEO of that new company you signed or your biggest investor—becomes “Anonymous Dingo”or “Anonymous Chupacabra.”
(Yes, that’s actually in the rotation.)
Making the Best of a Skunky Situation
This skunk predicament is particularly thorny. (Am I mixing metaphors now?)
While other unfortunate assignments—”Anonymous Hyena” or “Anonymous Vulture”—might raise an eyebrow, the skunk carries cultural baggage that transcends the animal kingdom. It’s become shorthand for something gone wrong, something to avoid, something that…well, stinks.
Imagine trying to maintain professional composure during a video call while explaining, “Yes, that’s you making edits right now—you’re the Anonymous Skunk.” The awkward pause to follow would echo throughout the caverns of your Zoom call.
The skunk isn’t alone in Google’s menagerie of workplace awkwardness. “Anonymous Sloth” is not exactly screaming efficiency and productivity. “Anonymous Jackal” carries unfortunate connotations of scavenging and opportunism. Meanwhile, some lucky souls apparently get “Anonymous Dragon” or “Anonymous Lion,” creatures that command respect and suggest power. “Anonymous Kraken” and “Anonymous Jackalope” do exist, apparently, though I’ve never seen them come up.
The randomness feels almost personal sometimes.
The one I’d most like to see is “Anonymous Capybara,” the world’s largest rodent (amphibious or otherwise). If you’ve seen Flow, the Latvian animated film that won the 2025 Oscar and Golden Globe for Best Animated Feature Film, you might now have a greater appreciation for the capybara, one of the gentle companions that helps a cat navigate a post-apocalyptic (flooded) world.
Native to South America, capybaras can weigh up to 150 pounds and are naturally semi-aquatic, making them perfectly suited for the watery landscape depicted in the film. Known for their calm, peaceful demeanor, capybaras are basically nature’s chillest critters, equally at home lounging on riverbanks or swimming with surprising grace.
Being dubbed “Anonymous Capybara” would be an honor for anyone. Sadly, since Rare Bird uses the Google Suite, I’m stuck with my boring name instead. But a boy can dream.
The Customization That Never Came
You’d think Google would have added an option to allow anonymous document viewers the option to choose their own animal by now. More than a decade later, we’re still at the mercy of such random assignments.
Google’s reasoning is sound from a technical perspective. With their system supporting so many simultaneous anonymous viewers without duplicates, manual selection could create chaos. But from a professional relationships perspective, I bet it’s created some interesting conversations.
A Silver Lining
Perhaps there’s a lesson in Google’s stubborn refusal to let us control our anonymous identities. In a world where we carefully curate every aspect of our online presence—using AI to edit or alter our professional headshots on LinkedIn, reviewing old Facebook posts before that important interview, or even sharing only the shiniest and happiest photos of your family (despite last night’s dinner argument)—maybe it’s refreshing to have one small corner of the internet where we’re all random animals scurrying around a document together.
And if your client has a sense of humor about being “Anonymous Skunk,” you might have found yourself a keeper. After all, many of the best professional relationships are built on the ability to laugh together—even if it’s just at Google’s enduring quirkiness.
Looking for a marketing partner who can laugh at the absurd moments and still get serious work done?
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